Consent is defined as ‘permission for something to happen’. Over the last decade, we have read and heard a lot about consent, why ‘consent’ or ‘sexual consent’ is necessary, and that no means no. But something that has made me and a lot of others across the world take notice and think about in the last few years is emotional consent.

We all have a 3 am friend whom we can call when we need them, no matter what the time. And more often than not, it is to talk about our problems, our vulnerabilities, our anxieties, our breakdowns. It’s more of a call to vent than a call to converse. On most occasions, we don’t even expect the other person to give us a solution or advice, all we need is someone who can just simply listen to everything that we want to say. (More on this later)

Emotional consent is asking this friend or anyone for that matter that if they are willing to listen as you vent about whatever rather than just bombarding everything on to them. Because it is not necessary that the other person on the receiving end will be in the emotional capacity to listen to you and your problems. Confused?

I do understand that for most of you it is a new concept. Let me put it in a simpler way, Emotional consent is as simple as (but not exclusively) asking ‘Do you mind if I vent?’ Emotional consent is all about respecting the listener’s mental & emotional health and capacity. I know it is a bit tricky. The listener, in this case, is your friend and friend are supposed to be there for you. But you cannot expect your friends to be there for you always. They are also humans and are bound to have a difficult day themselves.

I know this practice might sound a bit absurd and formal at this moment, but that is because this is yet to be normalized in our society, in our times. And hence it is important to have conversations around this topic, the more we talk about it, the faster people will start accepting it.

When we usually vent on to someone, we are in dire need of love, support and comfort. But when we don’t ask for their consent, without respecting their mental capacity at that time, it can prove extremely stressful for the receiver in the long term. It can also affect the relationship and trust that two people share.

So, all you have to do next time before venting out your emotions onto someone, just check if they are willing to do so. Be a little compassionate and treat them the way you expect to be treated. Maybe even reciprocate and hear out the other person vent out their emotions.

Lastly, lets exercise and normalize emotional consent.